True love psychic theory

True love psychic

Passion is a psychic state in which, for an affected person (the subject of desire), a certain person (chosen by the subject as the object of his desire) is considered as the source of all possible happiness. The mind loses contact with the object experienced as unimaginable misfortune or true love

The thought process is distorted and diverted to maintain an (imaginary) connection with the object (by continuing to think about it), which can cause errors in judgment; critical judgments relating to obstructed objects.


The relationship with ordinary reality is basically maintained, but divestment in these sectors of reality implies that it has nothing to do with the object. This mental state is easily expressed in formulas such as: «Through you I live» or «I cannot live without you». And sometimes it can be described with palmistry reading by a person experienced in spiritual treatments such as a clairvoyant.

First, we need to clarify the relationship between passion and true love (feelings of love). Passion is a component of feelings of love (anticipating the following developments, we will say: narcissistic component of feelings of love); practically indistinguishable from that in the phase of love in the newborn country and as long as there is a prospect of mutual love.

And when this perspective exists and a transition can be made between a new-born state and institutionalized love («A new-born nation is temporary by definition (…). Love that arises, when all is well, leads to love; collective movement, when everything works, it produces institutions. »

On the other hand, when the prospect of mutual love is threatened or absent, passion manifests itself as different from feelings of love. Then reveal the dimensions of violence inherent in passion, easily characterized by metaphors that are oral (passion «eating»). This violence, as an intrapsychic phenomenon, is given with respect to the subject’s self, by the fact that object thinking replaces other thoughts and as an interpersonal embodiment, it can be done in connection with objects, such as in passionate persecution.

The purpose of this article is to describe the psychoanalytic-inspired theory related to the phenomenon of desire, linking the mobilization of desire in adults with the renewal of the sequelae of early trauma and the means of defense, especially division. ego, carried out by a childish soul to deal with this traumatic situation.

With the following questions in mind: what is the nature of true love power inherent in passion? what determines the choice of passion objects? can we find the principle of clarity in this seemingly irrational phenomenon?

This theory is expressed in the form of a set of propositions, a set which, in our opinion, can articulate many different special stories: those whose subjects are vulnerable to desire. Therefore, it is not a matter of claiming to establish the truth of each of these statements, but proposing, in the overall form compiled by this thesis, the conception of the phenomenon of desire.

To find out what we mean, we should make an overview of the «question situation.» We must here be satisfied with showing, in psychoanalytic literature, the writings that are closest to our subject and have triggered our reflection.

The formulation of the title that links passion and division is caused by one of the patients (himself a psychologist and therapist) whose story has aroused our interest in the subject. So that the author of this article first rejected all claims that are prioritized in this formulation. Priority of discovery – if any, and in any case it is one in the therapeutic context – belongs to this person, whose name cannot be mentioned here. Be aware of this publication, which has given its approval.


Clinical part: arousal as a symptom

We propose to treat the phenomenon of arousal as a symptom of psychic life in the same way as other symptoms described by psychoanalytic clinics. In this section we will explain the peculiarities of this phenomenon whose theoretical description developed in the second part must be taken into account.

But this is not just a description, because this clinical section has formulated a hypothesis about the phenomenon of arousal that is seen in its actuality. The theoretical part will relate this news to events that should have taken place in the initial stages of subject development.


Love passion as a self-healing effort

The idea that psychic equipment includes a tendency to improve ourselves is central to our reflection, because we propose to understand passion as a self-healing effort (undoubtedly an illusion) of a previously tolerated disorder, and which, for specific moments in the subject’s life, ceases to be so . And the rest of this article aims to answer the question: what is the soul trying to heal itself through desire?

This formulation naturally implies that the most determining factor in desire mobilization lies not in the object of desire, but in the subject. This is contrary to the perception possessed by the affected person, because his desire lies in the extraordinary qualities he attaches to the object (he only agrees with himself that service has an intuition of these extraordinary qualities, which seems not seen by others, including the object of desire itself).


The theory that we will develop in an attempt to find in intrapsychic life the subject of reasons for passionate mobilization (intrapsychic motivation of passion), because it must also offer an answer to the question: how could the person who is the object of passion, as found in the danger of life, be able offer a satisfying response to the expectations implied by this motivation?

Because these expectations are marked by mental representations or fantasies specific to the subject, the a priori has nothing to do with the reality of the person chosen as the object. For some people, the expectations are also influenced by the compatibility by zodiac sign.


Passion develops through psychological regression

In other words, to develop, passion requires the awakening or strengthening of influence from childhood – and helps maintain a situation that is permeated by the influence of this childhood origin. And this clearly shows that the «crime» discussed in the previous proposal is childhood crime.

This statement should not be surprising, given the similarity between the lover’s emotional dependence on the object of his desire and the de facto dependence of the child on the parent’s environment.
Passion and change in stages of life

Reflection at a time in life when passion is mobilized is a useful approach to the fact of passion. We propose the idea that desires are mobilized in the context of anticipating a crisis, or early signs of a crisis, of a long-standing development, a crisis caused by, or related to the prospect of a change in life stages that threatens this development.

However, it should be noted that in addition to the desires associated with the crisis of life, there are also subjects who seem to have, to maintain their balance and this is chronically and therefore unrelated to the crisis, to live like in a state of passion, and for that must be a full chain of adventure passion for each other. Not the situation discussed here.

If our ideas are correct, anticipate inevitable changes in life stages (adolescents, transition to adulthood, old age approaches), the threats they pose to developments that apply up to there, and the fear of losing the benefits of this arrangement, renewing old anxiety and this mode of defense against anxiety, hitherto passed unnoticed insofar as they were integrated into this arrangement; spirit mobilization will be a response to this renewed anxiety.

But the mobilization of passion in this context does not have a clear meaning: it can be a force for change, it has the possibility to remove obstacles which until now have blocked the path to change; it can also play a conservative role, by ignoring threats and giving illusive responses to fears about the prospect of change.

These «progressive» and «conservative» aspects can coexist in various fields of psychic life, and can be combined in various ways.